Runaway Absurdity

So…

Jennifer Whatshername from Duluth GA was fixin’ to get married and instead she decided to hop a bus to Las Vegas. Although there was no evidence of a crime, her family reported her missing. Reports went out far and wide of this mysterious disappearance. Some clever person created the stupid name "Runaway Bride!" Sheeesh!

The fair and balanced, educated populous of Americans are very worried about Jennifer.

Then…

Jennifer Whatshername from Duluth GA shows up in New Mexico. She reports that bad people who were driving an evil doer’s white van had kidnapped her. Aha! Just as we thought! Greta Van Susteren is awoken at 4:00 am! Greta will get to the bottom of this!

The fair and balanced, educated populous of Americans are very relieved that Jennifer is okay.

Then…

Jennifer Whatshername from Duluth GA admits that she was lying. She had not been kidnapped. She only had run away because of the mounting pressures of her life.

The fair and balanced, educated populous of Americans are very disappointed that Jennifer is not the next Elizabeth Smart.

Then….

The top-notch 24/7 television “get to the truth when convenient” media decided that it was important to get to the bottom of Jennifer Whatshername from Duluth GA. It is reported that Jennifer Whatshername from Duluth GA has 3 previous convictions for shoplifting. It is also reported that while in the 7th grade, Jennifer Whatshername from Duluth GA got a ‘D’ in home economics.

The fair and balanced, educated populous of Americans are disgusted with Jennifer.

Then…

With unbearable pressure from the top-notch 24/7 television media, The government officials of Duluth GA decide to charge Jennifer Whatshername of Duluth GA with giving a false statement to police, which is a felony.


The fair and balanced, educated populous of Americans are very angry with Jennifer for worrying them all over her emotional shortcomings.

Then…..

Jennifer Whatshername pleads no contest to the charges and she was sentenced to pay $2,500, 120 hours of community service, 2 years of probation and enough notoriety & humiliation to last a lifetime.

The fair and balanced, educated populous of Americans feel vindication.

Meanwhile….

In the refugee shantytowns of Darfur the systematic campaign of “gang rape”, murder and genocide continues. Over 1.6 million people have been displaced from their homelands and over 200,000 people have died.

The fair and balanced, educated populous of Americans say “Huh? Where is Darfur and how is that news?”

Perhaps Jennifer Whatshername should have runaway to Darfur instead of Las Vegas. Better yet, maybe she could do her 120 hours of community service in Darfur instead of Duluth. Afterall, they both start with ‘D’.

Absurd does not accurately describe how bad this is. How can one emotionally troubled woman from Georgia with trivial problems get so much attention from the American media while millions of people in the Sudan are being cruelly brutalized and murdered?

Like Richard Jewel, all the ignorant media has acomplished is to ruin the life of another poor victim. The emotionally weak Jennifer Whatshername should be given a percentage of all of the advertising revenue from the 24/7 media jerks. The next time you hear "fair and balanced" or "we report, you decide", think of how much you heard about the systematic gang raping in Darfur. Then salute the "Runaway Bride!".

If you are interested in learning about the genocide in Darfur, please check out these websites:

http://www.savedarfur.org/
http://www.darfurgenocide.org/
http://www.darfurinfo.org/

If you are only interested in learning more about the continuing soap opera life of Jennifer Whatshername, stay tuned to FoxNews, CNN and MS/NBC. Of course, you could also buy your weekly copy of The National Enquirer at you local grocery check out. Anymore, they are pretty much the same!!